FORCES OF NURTURE : Triplets are sobering, but mother has faith
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2008
When U. S. Rep. Vic Snyder announced in July that wife Betsy Singleton, pastor of Little Rock’s Quapaw Quarter United Methodist Church, was pregnant with triplets, a collective gasp could be heard across Arkansas.
Singleton, 47, was just shy of 11 weeks pregnant when her husband’s staff sent out a news release.
To say that this pregnancy is high risk is an understatement. And even women with run-of-the-mill pregnancies usually don’t tell their closest friends their good news until they reach the first-trimester milestone.
Singleton’s age wasn’t the only shocker. Snyder, who is in Washington most of the time, is 60. Their son, Penn, is 2.
The truth is, my first thought upon hearing the announcement was, “This woman has got to be out of her gourd.” Because I’m nosy by nature, I sent her an e-mail asking her for an interview. She was agreeable, graciously sharing all the details.
After talking with her, I’m happy to report that she’s not crazy at all.
My questions were numerous. But we’ll start with the most important news: The three babies are doing great. All of her numerous tests have indicated that the babies, who appear to be boys, are thriving.
Why the early announcement ?
“I’m much larger already and wearing maternity clothes,” she said at 14 weeks pregnant. Also, with her husband out of pocket so much, he urged her to let people know so that she could reach out for support.
Singleton is expecting an early birth, with 33 weeks being her goal instead of the conventional 40.
“More would be good,” she said.
Singleton hopes to continue her normal routine at work through September, but is prepared to stop earlier.
She won’t be able to go with her husband to the Democratic National Convention next week in Denver because she already knows the strain will be too much.
“My activities are going to have to be curtailed,” she said.
Singleton recalls being tired when she was pregnant with Penn, and falling asleep on the couch at the end of the day.
“But I have a toddler now so I don’t have that luxury,” she said. “I don’t always have a daddy to back me up. I work a full day, come home, cook dinner, get baby fed, get a bath and get him to bed.
“ What I am is just flat-out tired. If I don’t get about eight to eight-and-a-half hours sleep, I’m exhausted.” Weekends are her reprieve.
“When my husband is home, he’s on it. He’s doing tons of stuff. In fact, I’ve been feeling a little bit sad about that.” Her doctor has advised her to gain 20 pounds per baby by the 24 th week.
“The babies will be sucking the nutrition off me and I won’t have the room to eat in large enough quantity to gain the weight beyond 24 weeks,” she explained.
Her average weight is 122 pounds. She gained 56 pounds with Penn but shed much of it quickly after losing water weight and because she breast-fed for more than a year.
The couple used in-vitro fertilization with Penn and the triplets.
“When we got married, my husband said I told him I wanted two or three. I don’t remember this. I think both of us knew that because of our ages it might be difficult to pull off.” When she decided to try to get pregnant a second time, Singleton prepared like she was training for a prize fight. She had a cardiovascular work-up, a stress test, an analysis of her uterus lining and a breast biopsy. She also had her teeth cleaned and her eyes examined.
“I wanted to be very healthy.” Using in vitro to implant two embryos, Singleton said, she knew her chances of having twins were 60 percent.
“I felt like we could handle two more. I knew it would be hard. Twins are not easy. Adding one baby to your family is not easy. But I felt more confident.” Headed into an ultrasound at six weeks pregnant, she suspected she had twins.
“I was so big. I already had a bulge.” The night before, the couple had gone to a show at the Arkansas Repertory Theatre, and she made her husband pull over and get her two burrito supremes.
Her sister teased her that she was so hungry maybe she was going to have triplets.
“I said, ‘you hear all those stories but that only happens to other people. That’s not going to happen to me.’” Snyder actually saw the third baby on the ultrasound monitor before their obstetrician saw it. Singleton’s reaction: “I just couldn’t believe it. This is impossible. Oh my gosh, I hope I haven’t ruined my son’s life, my husband’s life. How’s it going to affect your work, your family, your finances ?” Someone told her recently, “’You’re just going to have let go and trust that you’re the right person to be the mother to these babies. ’” She takes the advice to heart. “My job is to be the best possible incubator and make that my biggest priority other than my son.” Cindy Murphy is a news reporter for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. She and her husband take turns chasing their toddler, reviving their diabetic cat and trying not to confuse the two. E-mail her at cmurphy@arkansasonline. com
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